Rating: All Ages
Word Count: 2,206
Author's Summary: Two Time Lords chained to each other and covered in cake seek shelter in George Bulman's shop. George is not impressed. A cakefic crossover with the UK television series 'Bulman' (1985-87).
Characters/Pairings: The Doctor (3rd), The Doctor (7th), crossover characters
Warnings: None, unless naked Doctors really don't agree with you.
Recced because: Once upon a time there was a small but plucky Doctor Who forum called Death by Aspirin (it's still going if you want to search for it out of idle curiosity), and there, due to a slight misunderstanding one day, one of the regular posters accidentally invented a new fic meme which featured two Doctors (preferably Ten and Three, to begin with) chained to each other, one of them naked, both covered in cake. Oh, and it had to be all the Master's doing. I'm sure we've all accidentally invented fic memes like that in our time. ;)
And lo, the members of the forum thought that the meme was good and they did adopt the meme and embroider the meme and try different combinations of Doctors and other characters and ever more baroque explanations for how the chains and the nakedness and the cake became involved. Eventually, the subgenre even got its own community right here on Livejournal: http://cakefic.livejournal.com/
And then, the author of tonight's fic rec decided to write a crossover mashing up the cakefic meme with a perhaps undeservedly obscure 80s British TV series Bulman. George Kitchener Bulman was a retired police detective turned clock repairman/private eye and probably the most eccentric character in a genre full of eccentric characters. His titular series was actually a spinoff of a spinoff, strangely enough, and he was played by acting legend Don Henderson a.k.a the raw-meat-chewing, rocking-chair-appreciating Gavrok out of Delta and the Bannermen a.k.a. that bloke sitting at the table in the original Star Wars who isn't too impressed by the Death Star.
And a most amusing fic it is as well. You don't even have to be as familiar with the crossover series as I am (which is to say, only a very little bit in my hazy memories of long-ago telly) to appreciate the off-the-wall world of Bulman and be tickled pink by the idea that two Time Lords covered in cake and chains stumbling into the shop isn't the weirdest thing going on in that particular milieu. Also noteworthy is the way Three maintains his poise and essential Three-ness even in this unfortunate predicament while Seven is, of course, completely unfazed by the fact that he is not only covered in cake and handcuffs but also has somehow lost all of his clothing apart from his signature headgear. Go and read it, anyway, chuckle to yourselves and then tell the author how much you dig it and now want to watch Bulman. Worth it for the line about "despairing maniacal laughter" alone. :)
As the Doctors entered the shop, they found it full of junk masquerading as antiques. Safely out of sight of prying eyes, the taller Doctor turned to the naked one. “Couldn’t you have tried to cover yourself up? I see with your regeneration that some areas of your body are no longer the same colour as a human’s. Luminous green is rather eye catching.”