Word Count: 2,668
Author's summary: When the Master and Jack are too busy fighting with each other to pay attention to him, the Doctor takes matters into his own hands. Crack fic.
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Captain Jack Harkness/The Master (Simm).
Recced because: A good crack is good for the soul. This one's magnificent. Set within a completely mad/unexplained/silly alternate universe in which the Doctor drags both Jack and the Master with him post LotTL (and let's admit it, they both have a thing for him...), desperate measures have to be taken in order for the two of them to stop trying to pry each others' eyes out. Or something. Like any good crack fic, the fine details don't actually matter, because the result is brilliant and hilarious.