Word Count: 999
Author's Summary: He's a 21st century human, she's an ancient Gallifreyan space-time ship. It would never work out, but that doesn't stop her trying.
Characters/Pairings: Rory/the TARDIS, Amy/Rory, Eleven
Recced because: You don't exactly run across Rory/TARDIS every day, so of course I had to rec this, especially because it makes me laugh every single time I read it. The TARDIS' attempts to woo Rory are unsubtle at best, ranging from mysteriously appearing romantic restaurants to aphrodisiac chocolate bars and outright groping, while Rory can't seem to convince his prospective lover that he's just not that into her. The whole situation is wrong and slightly creepy, but it's also totally hilarious.
Rory walks into the bathroom and all his clothing disappears off his body instantly. "What the-" he says, grabbing a towel to cover himself. There's no one there. The towel is too small, anyway.
The shower he takes shortly thereafter is the single most amazing, relaxing, massaging shower he has ever taken in his entire life. He uses unscented soap but comes out smelling like nutmeg.
(He finds his clothing stuffed into the corner of his closet, burnt and torn and covered in orange goo. Laid out neatly on his bed is a perfectly-tailored suit and a sort of girly silk shirt, and a pair of wingtips. He looks at the outfit for a moment, then puts on jeans and a t-shirt. Somewhere above him a vent makes a quiet whistling noise, almost like a sigh.)