Story: A Game of Two Halves
Author: Gary Merchant
Rating: All ages
Word Count: 1316
Author's Summary: It's the best of Galactic Football Action, from Gallifrey.
Characters/Pairings: Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Davros, Sutekh, The Celestial Toymaker, The Daleks, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (1st), The Doctor (2nd), The Doctor (3rd), The Doctor (4th), The Doctor (5th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (7th), The Doctor (8th), and quite a few others as well.
Warnings: Only if you have some in-built aversion to the game known variously as football/soccer...
Recced because: Recced because the first time I read this it absolutely tickled me pink. Essentially, it's a pretty unique take on that concept that seems to haunt the dreams of all us fanfiction writers, the Ultimate Multi-Doctor Team-Up, but in the form of a football (soccer, that is, for those of you on the other side of the Pond there) match, with a motley visiting team of villains and monsters providing the opposition. The story is absolutely stuffed to bursting with clever references and asides to the wide and varied history of Who, both in-universe and real life; if you like a good in-joke (and I would tentatively place myself in that category), you will find much here to amuse you. What really elevates this story for me, however, is the style in which it is told. Truly oddball television football commentary is something of a dying art nowadays, but the author here captures its unique idiom perfectly, somewhat filtered through the prism of that Monty Python election results sketch which was mocking the same sort of thing. Certainly, if you're familiar with the way football used to be televised in the UK in the days before Sky Sports, you'll get an extra kick out of this, but even if not you'll still find a lot to like about this and a lot of humour in it, I'm sure. So go and read it - this instant!
And the Academicals have control once more, with number Ten quite literally on the ball and making a solo run for the goal. There’s no one to stop him as he crosses the length of the pitch — only to take a heavy fall, the result of a clash with a Dalek. He looks a bit shaken at the moment, and there has been talk of an early substitution, but thanks to a helping hand, number Ten is now back on his feet, ready to take the penalty shot.
A number of villains line up in front of the goal, attempting to block the shot — a Sontaran, an Ogron and the Destroyer. For some reason they’re all kneeling — but no, that’s just a misunderstanding from Sutekh. So, they’re on their feet now, as number Ten prepares to take the shot. He connects with the ball… and it’s in the back of the net!
rec: A Game of Two Halves by Gary Merchant
Story: A Game of Two Halves