Rating: All Ages
Word Count: 21943
Author's Summary: The Eleventh Doctor had a simple philosophy about public nudity. "If it embarrasses you, turn your back." Hmmm, what about the other Doctors? Here are ten humorous vignettes with a central theme of nakie-ness.
Characters/Pairings: Doctors 1 through 10 and various companions (ETA for the intrepid calufrax tagger: Susan, Ian, Barbara, Victoria, Jamie, Liz Shaw, Brigadier, Mike Yates, John Benton, Sarah Jane, Adric, Tegan, Nyssa, Melanie Bush, Ace, Jo Grant, Martha Jones)
Recced because: Honestly, how can you pass up a story with that summary? Do you need more? Okay, it's ten stories that go effortlessly from era to era, that are quirky and imaginative and funny and outlandish. They are also well-written and fun, inducing a little bit of ear reddening blushes at times, but also exploring concepts of friendship, acceptance, vulnerability, and the tendency of the Doctor to gravitate to gift shops in more ways than one. And well, if it's not your cuppa you can always turn your back...
"What's this nonsense?" the L'zrd, Scraw, asked no one in particular.
The device suddenly blinked into life with a ping!ping!ping! and the Professor studied it carefully. His group waited in agonized anticipation.
Ace recognized the signs and she raised herself onto her elbows. "This nonsense," she whispered to her reptilian friend, "Is a trick of some sort."
"Ooooh," the Marzt woman, Pixti, also rose up to pay attention.
The Professor raised his other hand slowly into the air. And waited. And waited. And waited some more until Pixti was reduced to giggles, Scraw was tapping his claws on the sand and Ace was on the verge of screaming. Just before everyone dropped dead of suspense the Professor dramatically pointed West and shouted "SHE'S OVER THERE! Just inside the jungle!" His followers took off, kicking sand in all directions as they pelted en masse towards the treeline. "Quickly! Quickly!" the Professor jogged forward a few steps until the crowd passed, leaving him free to do a casual loop and come back to Ace's recumbent gang. He was grinning and he raised his hat to them all.
Ace squinted up at him and smiled. "What was that all about?"
He raised a finger to his lips and looked all around before he answered in a dramatic whisper, "There's a Human Female on the beach!"