Story: Time Lag
Rating: All Ages
Word Count: 2,480
Author's Summary: In 1979 London, the Fifth Doctor, Tegan, and Turlough accidentally crash a Torchwood party.
Characters/Pairings: The Doctor (5th), Tegan Jovanka, Turlough, Torchwood
Recced because: I don't know if anybody else has seen the recent film version of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy yet, but there's a sequence in it in which the great and good (or great...ish at any rate) of the Circus, John Le Carre's fictionalised version of MI6, gather at what looks like the cheesy 70s Xmas office party from hell. And when I saw it, it reminded me strongly of this fic. In a good way! Essentially, that's what happens here - Five and companions inadvertently crash the Torchwood Institute's 100th anniversary bash and hilarity ensues, with dancing, team-building pep talks and flagrant misuse of alien technology all featuring in the course of the evening. I really like the way this story portrays Five, Tegan and Turlough, a Doctor-companion team that always make me smile with their various personality quirks and often spiky interpersonal relations. The character voices and interactions are spot on. As for Torchwood, they don't exactly cover themselves in glory - you know that it probably really was like this for them most of the time. It is all in all extremely funny, and yet also very true to the characters and what we know of this particular corner of the Whoniverse. So, I encourage you to read this and hope you all enjoy it - please leave reviews for the author if at all possible.
"No, I'll just..." Tegan continued, but before she could finish her sentence, the music faded away. Following the lead of everyone else, Tegan, Turlough, and the Doctor turned to the front of the room, where a slender, middle-aged woman stood.
When she seemed satisfied that she commanded their attention, she smiled broadly and trumpeted, "Good news, team. I've just received word that last month was a banner month for Torchwood. We were directly responsible for only 57 civilian deaths, which was a record and constituted a 43% reduction from the same period last year. Let's aim for just 50 civilian deaths next month, all right?"
A mighty cheer rocked the room. The music boomed to life again, and celebratory dancing ensued.
Slightly stunned, Tegan turned away. That woman was joking, she assured herself. She had to be. Because if not... the alternative didn't bear thinking about.
Next to her, the Doctor suddenly cried, "I knew something was wrong!"