Story: Letters From an Unhinged Mind
Rating: All Ages
Word Count: 395
Author's Summary: The Doctor writes two letters: an apology to Obi-Wan Kenobi, and a reprimand for stolen jellybabies.
Characters/Pairings: Fourth Doctor
Recced because: The best crack!fic is that fic that, while undeniably cracky, is also somehow perfectly in character. The premise of these letters is ridiculous, but I can still "hear" Four perfectly nonetheless, lecturing Obi-Wan and upbraiding the jellybaby thief. I was giggling by the third sentence, and didn't stop all the way through.
I'm terribly sorry for stealing your lightsaber. In hindsight, I realize that, as a Time Lord, I have little use for such a tool, as I tend to favor diplomacy over force anyway. But my immense brain, far superior to your feeble one, overtook pragmatism, and I found I desired to understand such a tool. I hope you'll forgive my theft, particularly given that it was done only to further my expansive and immutable search for knowledge. I intended to return it just as soon as I examined its internal structure and means of application.
However, was it really necessary to set my scarf aflame?