Characters/Pairing: Seventh Doctor/Master (Ainley)
Summary: Crack!Response to Survival. The Master employs amazing long-term pick-up strategies, at the expense of the Doctor's sanity and Bernaz the Sentient Muskrat of Woe.
Why recced: Perfect crack! Everything that is ridiculous about the episode “Survival” (and Ainley Master’s plots in general) and everything that is ridiculous about the Doctor/Master pairing is made fun of brilliantly and hilariously.
Excerpt: “Can’t you ever just ask me out on a normal date?” the Doctor shrieked. “The Cheetah Planet? For Rassilon’s sake, I just want to go to the Olive Garden and order Veal Parmesan or something! Instead I’m trapped for an unknown period on a planet of frankly ridiculous looking carnivores with you licking your fangs at me–goddamit, Koschei! I just wanted some appetizers and white wine! Maybe a Bellini! Why in nine hundred years have you never done the decent thing by me and bought me a Bellini?!”