Story: Time And Relatively Distracting Innuendo-related Scandals
Word Count: 1,144
Author's Summary: A CIA agent was sent to bring Clara and Ashildr back to Gallifrey. That was the Time Lords’ first mistake.
Characters/Pairings: Ace, Ashildr/Me, Clara
Recced because: I don't know about you, but I really liked Series 9/Season 35, and its ultimate ending, with the mostly-dead Clara and immortal "Me" taking off Doctor-like in a stolen TARDIS was, assuming they don't get revisited at some point, practically incitement to commit fanfic. What I like about this fic is that it takes its lead from that finale episode, but does so in a way that is more or less completely at odds with the generally heavy tone of the Twelfth Doctor's last round of adventures. It's not trying to make any big points about mortality, fate or the state of the universe, it's just silly, frothy, somewhat slashy and extremely amusing indeed. I for one was cackling quite a bit while reading it. Well, to be honest, I cackle quite a lot, but this made me cackle even more.
And the stroke of genius is the inclusion of the surprise guest character. Of course the restored Time Lords wouldn't just take the existence of a pair of living space-time anomalies careering recklessly around the universe lying down, of course they'd send an agent to hunt them down. Making that agent Ace, however, wins this fic several billion bonus points from me, and even makes a kind of sense in light of the long-ago 90s novel canon and/or John Nathan-Turner's reported brainwave of sending her to the Time Lord academy as a way of writing her out of the series during the Season 27 that never happened. Ace, as it turns out, isn't actually terribly good at hunting fugitives for the Celestial Intervention Agency, but given her deep anti-authoritarian streak it makes sense that she wouldn't actually be trying that hard. Indeed, she mainly seems to be interested in exchanging rather charged banter with her would-be quarries, and very funny it is too.
So if you're looking for something light and enjoyable to round off the weekend, this could well be the fic for you. Go and have a look and if you like it (I think many of you will) be sure to let the author know. And if you're like me, you'll be beaming to yourself for some time afterwards just at the bit where we find out who Gallifrey's new President is. I hope Chris Chibnall is of the same mind as this author!
"Here we go," said Ace, recovering admirably. "Um, you're under arrest for breaking the primary laws of Time, stealing a TARDIS and running away- good job with that, actually- and…" She broke off, read the paper, and choked back a laugh. "What, seriously?"
"What does it say?" Clara asked in interest, stepping forwards to read over her shoulder. "Oh my god. Really?"
Ashildr moved over, and scanned the sheet. "…that's new."
"Er," said Ace. "You're under arrest for… is it actually possible to fit that many sheep into a TARDIS, incidentally?"
"Yes," said Ashildr. "Yes, it is. I don't advise it, though."
And that, for now, is that. See you around soonish, I hope!